This post is Pure Ego, so know that going in:
I’d been threatening out loud to “get out of comics” for awhile now. It’s a tough game that offers few rewards, most of the last few years barely even a living despite my trying every doorknob and hallway in the place. This lack of response to my efforts hurt me triply as I’ve been producing my best work for the last 3.5 years, and few of my friends or fans have even read it. Since I returned to NYC in January, whenever I thought about comics, I found myself kicking tin cans down the trash-filled blocks and generally feeling like I’d wasted the last decade of my adult life working in a field that spit me out broke and anonymous and couldn’t give two shits.
Strange then, that I went to Comic-Con last week. I planned the trip mostly to A) meet a collaborator I’ve been collaborating with via Skype since I was still in Brazil, B) to break bread with my film/TV reps for the first time in person and C) to see some old and dear friends from around the country. But something clicked out there:
People not only remembered me, but were interested and openly EXCITED about my upcoming work (who knew?), from IDW’s putting out a series of RED LIGHT PROPERTIES collections to secret projects I’d let slip after a few drinks in a hotel bar, ideas I’d cooked in Brazil that I wasn’t even sure which medium to produce the work in.
I also had an expected teary moment: seeing the cover to the first RED LIGHT PROPERTIES at the IDW booth, surround by STAR TREK and JUDGE DREDD and my Monkeybrain Comics crew. I shot this pic through watery eyes and said to myself out loud in the moment: “I’m here again.”
And it did feel like coming home after a long separation full of sadness and self-doubt (all mine), a blue period of wandering and self-questioning where I’d missed my house, my kids, even my furniture, deep in my bones, so far down it felt like the marrow in me had gone rotten and I was too far gone to even self-diagnose this whole time.
Last month I was joking over Chinese food to some friends about how my relationship with Lady Comics was a one-sided and abusive affair: she moved into my home, made me feel like a man once and never let me touch her again. Well, she and I worked some things out in California together over the last few days… and for the first time in a long time, I feel like we’re gonna be just fine.