Superman & Batman

My grandpa had another heart attack and couldn't come to my birthday party.  He almost died from it but we saw him in the hospital a few days before the party.  My mom told me to say goodbye to him even though he didn't die; it was really confusing and everybody was really sad so I didn't say much, just touched his arm.  It had needles and plastic tubes full of blood and sugar water coming in and out of it.  Grandpa got embarrassed because he had to pee in a plastic bucket under his sheet but he missed a little I think and the whole bed smelled like old people pee.  I laughed because sometimes I get a spot of it on my pants when I zip them up but he didn't think it was funny too and grandma shot me a dirty look so I was quiet.  She was really sad and it made her meaner than usual.  I hated coming to the hospital; it smelled weird, like mops and bandaids.  Mom walked me to the hall to the boys' room because I had to pee too; when I came back to see grandpa, I walked into the wrong room and there was a man who didn't have a nose, just a triangle-hole like a skeleton face.  He stood up when I came into the room and held out his arms; everyone was afraid of him because he looked like a monster but I think he was really lonely.  The skin where his nose was looked pink and wet and I screamed when mom came up behind me because I was gone so long.

Mom came and got me and brought me back into grandpa's room to say goodbye.  We had to get ready for my birthday party.  It was already my birthday a few days ago, but mom says nobody comes to birthday parties on schooldays.  I was sitting next to grandpa and mom was touching his hair and he was coughing and a tear came down his cheek but he didn't sound like he was crying.  Grandma pushed the remote control so grandpa could sit up and give me my birthday present.  His hands were shaking when he gave me the little blue box; I ripped off the paper even though grandma wanted me to save it and opened the box:  it was a watch.  A Superman watch.  It had a blue band and the front of the watch had a picture of Superman flying, with his fist out.  I didn't know how to tell time from a watch but mom said she'd teach me.  Grandpa told me that Superman can do anything and so can I and never to forget that, then the nurse came in with paper cups and told us we had to leave so he could take his medicine.  My mom held his hand for a long time and made a sound like a puppy before the nurse coughed again and made us leave.

I was looking out the car window when we left the parking lot, hoping grandpa would be okay but I didn't see him again until the funeral.  Mom put a Barry Manilow 8-track into the player but it made her sadder and she took it out again and threw it onto the backseat and we drove to Farrell's without talking.  My cousins were waiting and a couple kids whose moms my mom was friends with, even though I don't like the kids at all... they're stupid.  We waited outside in the cold for a little while for everyone to get there and all the parents were really nice to my mom and wished me happy birthday too.  Mom was trying to smile and not to cry but her bottom lip was quivering.  Mom went inside with Sarah Greenberg to hang the decorations, and I didn't see my dad anywhere.  My friend Benjy's dad called me Mister Big Five and I smiled even though it didn't make any sense; he was a part-time cop and always talked about beating up black people and I kind of hated him.  Mom stuck her head out of the restaurant and said it was party time and we all went inside.

Farrell's was the place every kid had at school had their party and now it was my turn.  The floor was always covered in peanut shells that crunched when you walked on them.  Every table was another kid's party, toys and cake and burgers and presents.  They led us to the back and there was a giant shiny banner that read HAPPY 5TH BIRTHDAY DANNY and everyone sat down.  They brought me a Pepsi and I asked for milk and those kids I didn't like laughed at me but I didn't care cause they're stupid.  Mom was getting tired of telling people about my grandpa and she started drinking beer with the other parents and was happier for a while.  I asked her where Dad was and she said he was coming but he had work to do.  I looked down at my Superman watch from grandpa and hated my dad for missing my party.  We had peanut fights with other tables, like a birthday party battle.  I was at Farrell's the week before for Marvin Scott's birthday so I knew it was ok to throw them at other parties.  Then we ate cheeseburgers and fries; some other kid's party was singing happy birthday to him and my table sang along "Happy Biiiiiiiiirthday Deeeeeeeeear Faaaaaaaartfaaaaaace" and then Batman jumped into the middle of the room.

I heard it first from the other kids' parties; they were going crazy. He'd jumped out from the lobby and surprised the wrong party, entertaining them anyways.  Then he ran across the room and jumped in front of my table with his hands on his hips.

"Happy Birthday, Danny Goldman!"  He had a fat belly hanging over his yellow belt and there was a black mustache sticking out of his mask.

"You're not Batman,"  I said to him.  "You're fat and you have a mustache.  The real Batman doesn't have a mustache."

Batman looked at me and his eyes were really tired under the mask; at that moment I knew it was my dad.  "And you're not the Birthday Boy; you're a spoiled little ingrate."  The other kids at the party were cheering for him and he made his rounds, kissing my mom hello which made the other kids boo and throw peanuts and then the cake came.  The other tables sang "Fartface" for me and then the presents came.  I got Underoos, rubber dinosaurs, an AM radio shaped like a robot, and a box from my grandma with a real cowboy hat and boots in it.  And then, the party was over.  The kids finished the cake and of course one kid threw up and everybody said thank you and went home.

Batman and mom and I walked to the car, my dad's fancy BMW.  Dad was rich for a little while and he liked to pretend he still was.  I sat in the backseat with my little brother and my parents talked about grandpa.  They said our babysitter Missus Stratton was waiting at the house for us so they could go back to the hospital and stay the night with him.  My mom kept trying to hold dad's hand while he was driving but the car was a stick-shift and he needed both hands and kept pushing her away.  Dad looked really fat dressed as Batman.  Fat and fake, even his real mustache looked fake under the mask.  We drove down the hill I fell off my bike on and turned right onto our street.

"What's going on?"  my mom asked.  There were police cars all over the place, on the lawn of our next door neighbor's house; Dad said to her that maybe they got robbed.  I saw he was looking at me in the rear view mirror for a minute, then he stepped on the gas and we started moving really fast.  He drove the car like the Batmobile, roaring down the street and skidded up onto the grass next to one of the police cars.  He jumped out of the car, like Batman on TV but with sweat-stains in his armpits.  The Detroit police stopped dead in their tracks when Batman leapt out of the car.

"Don't worry, boys.  I'll handle this."  He smiled, tapping his thumb to his yellow Bat symbol on his chest and then looked over at me through the car window.  The cops were stunned, their eyes lit up like kids.  He didn't look fake and fat anymore; when he leapt out of the car, his cape flapping in the air, he was Batman and he was saving the day.  The cops surrounded him with the police lights flashing all over everything and it was like a comic come to life.  I looked down at the Superman watch that I didn't know how to read yet, feeling for the first time like my dad and I were a team.